Little Star's Realm
Monday, February 25, 2008
Confession of a Rejected Artist.
Rejection is a speck, like a bit of unwanted debris, imbedded like a pebble in our psyche, and it stays there niggling away and undermining our self-confidence until we feel strong enough to pull it out. (Jannet Warrick)
I had this first unforgettable memory of rejection when I was in first year high school. It was the very first time I’ve had the guts to join our school publication because they were in need of an illustrator. So I tried with all enthusiasm but unfortunately I wasn’t chosen. After that, I didn’t join any opening for the school publication again…
The second time happened when somebody referred me to make a fashion illustration. They’ve seen my samples and got their attention so they asked me to follow the style they want. Unfortunately again…I never heard from them since then.
Lastly and still fresh from my memory is when I got interested in joining the children’s book illustrators. Despite my busy job schedule, I seriously find some time to make new illustrations just to meet the deadline. Today, I received the rejection letter saying that I didn’t make it to their list. I felt bad because I thought that maybe I am just trying too hard.
But then again, I started thinking the other way around. If I focus on the negative effects on me…I will eventually lose my capacity to appreciate what I had, already have and what I’ll be having on the next years to come. I started looking back at my past that I’m not actually a loser because there were things that I wanted badly but got it because I strived so hard and waited patiently. If I’ve had 3 biggest rejections in my life, I tried considering the 3 significant achievements that boost my confidence:
I really had this ardent desire to study at the oldest university and graduate with the course that I really dreamt of. I tried my best and I actually passed the entrance examination. Make it twice as something worth celebrating because I passed the shifter’s test after a year. I've got good grades. I never had a grade of 3.0 and even became a dean's lister. So I'm still thinking what's wrong with me?
Not long enough after graduation, there were several instances when I went home crying because I know that I screwed up with the manual exams due to lack of experience. Then I went to this publishing house, told myself that I wanted to work there and I was so glad that I was given the chance and be part of the creative group for four years.
Lastly, I’ve had this strong curiosity to try my luck in the media publishing. I wished that I’d be a part of it because there’s something else that I want to prove to myself. I took the examination and after months of waiting, once again, I was given the chance to work with a bunch of new artists and a new challenging job.
I am on my 5th month and was evaluated by my supervisor. I wish I could share his evaluation to this blog but it’s a bit confidential so I’ll just say that I am satisfied with what he said. It was his point of view on how I performed with my work. I am so glad that he was able to notice all my efforts.
I will try to regard what the other people told me… maybe they’re right. I may be rejected a million times but maybe God has other plans for me so I should keep on trying.
I should not lose my confidence…
I had this first unforgettable memory of rejection when I was in first year high school. It was the very first time I’ve had the guts to join our school publication because they were in need of an illustrator. So I tried with all enthusiasm but unfortunately I wasn’t chosen. After that, I didn’t join any opening for the school publication again…
The second time happened when somebody referred me to make a fashion illustration. They’ve seen my samples and got their attention so they asked me to follow the style they want. Unfortunately again…I never heard from them since then.
Lastly and still fresh from my memory is when I got interested in joining the children’s book illustrators. Despite my busy job schedule, I seriously find some time to make new illustrations just to meet the deadline. Today, I received the rejection letter saying that I didn’t make it to their list. I felt bad because I thought that maybe I am just trying too hard.
But then again, I started thinking the other way around. If I focus on the negative effects on me…I will eventually lose my capacity to appreciate what I had, already have and what I’ll be having on the next years to come. I started looking back at my past that I’m not actually a loser because there were things that I wanted badly but got it because I strived so hard and waited patiently. If I’ve had 3 biggest rejections in my life, I tried considering the 3 significant achievements that boost my confidence:
I really had this ardent desire to study at the oldest university and graduate with the course that I really dreamt of. I tried my best and I actually passed the entrance examination. Make it twice as something worth celebrating because I passed the shifter’s test after a year. I've got good grades. I never had a grade of 3.0 and even became a dean's lister. So I'm still thinking what's wrong with me?
Not long enough after graduation, there were several instances when I went home crying because I know that I screwed up with the manual exams due to lack of experience. Then I went to this publishing house, told myself that I wanted to work there and I was so glad that I was given the chance and be part of the creative group for four years.
Lastly, I’ve had this strong curiosity to try my luck in the media publishing. I wished that I’d be a part of it because there’s something else that I want to prove to myself. I took the examination and after months of waiting, once again, I was given the chance to work with a bunch of new artists and a new challenging job.
I am on my 5th month and was evaluated by my supervisor. I wish I could share his evaluation to this blog but it’s a bit confidential so I’ll just say that I am satisfied with what he said. It was his point of view on how I performed with my work. I am so glad that he was able to notice all my efforts.
I will try to regard what the other people told me… maybe they’re right. I may be rejected a million times but maybe God has other plans for me so I should keep on trying.
I should not lose my confidence…
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Finally.
Finally, I was able to watch Trainspotting. After a tiring week, I got the chance to unwind, be in my autistic mode (do anything without time restraint, be a couch potato, do some dvd marathon including Coffee Prince and this one). I liked the movie (even if some parts are extremely vulgar and obscene) because it's all about choosing what you want in life. Everything is all about choices. Sometimes when you're caught up in a situation where you think you can no longer escape, this movie is a sole reminder that we can simply change the path we are trudging...and it all depends on us.
Saturday, February 23, 2008
Across the Universe.
I want to watch the movie Across the Universe. According to clickthecity.com, it will be shown exclusively at Glorietta 4 and Greenbelt 3 starting on March 5. If I won't be able to drag someone to watch it, I'll surely buy a copy and watch it at home. I have this feeling that this is a great movie plus the smash hit sountrack inspired by the Beatles.
Saturday, February 09, 2008
Cuts Like a Knife.
There are certain words that cut like a knife. Sometimes those words cause complications. The following are ways to avoid being misunderstood... (I saw these while browsing the internet). Just try. Anyway, there's no harm in trying...
Here are some places where you might run into trouble by inadvertently using negative words: leaving a message on an answering machine, talking with a colleague at work, chatting with a neighbor, meeting with your children’s teachers, and relating with your family and friends.
Here’s how you can eliminate six commonly used negative words and replace them with positive words.
PROBLEMS become SITUATIONS
A negative statement would be, “I have a problem at work.” Contrast this with the more positive, “I have a difficult situation at work.”
A problem seems as though it is stuck to you and will always be there. It weighs heavy on your shoulders. A situation, on the other hand, seems temporary and solvable. It has a much lighter feel to it, and it won’t cause as much anxiety.
ALWAYS and NEVER become OFTEN and SELDOM
A negative statement would be, “You never take me anywhere. We always stay home and watch TV.” Contrast this with the more positive, “ Since we seldom go out in the evenings, and we’re often so tired we just watch TV, I get frustrated. I would love to have a special evening out with you. Can we plan one together?”
Always and never are negative words because they are rarely true and exaggerate a situation. Since they are usually used to criticize, people feel attacked and become defensive. The worst part is that others may focus on your exaggeration and entirely ignore your message. In the second statement, however, you are explaining your own feelings and desires, so there is no need for your partner to get defensive, and you are more likely to get your wish - an enjoyable evening out.
SHOULD HAVE becomes COULD HAVE
A negative statement would be, “You should have worked on that management report instead of filing papers.” Contrast this with the more positive, “You could have worked on that management report instead of filing papers.” Using the words, should have, creates guilt and shame for something that has already been done and cannot be changed, whereas the words, could have, don’t condemn anyone. They let someone know he or she had a choice, and this experience then becomes a lesson for making better choices in the future.
BAD becomes UNWISE
A negative statement would be, “You were really bad for missing work when we had a deadline to meet.” Contrast this with the more positive “Missing work when we had a deadline to meet was not a wise decision. The rest of us had to work overtime. Would you please find a way to make it up to us.”
Using the word, bad, is a judgement of a person’s character, and causes resentment. On the other hand, using the word, unwise, refers to the natural consequences of the person’s actions, and doesn’t judge a person’s basic character.
FAULTS become DIFFERENCES
A negative statement would be, “One of his faults that drives me crazy, is that his desk is always a mess.” Contrast this with the more positive, “One of the differences between us is that he keeps his desk messy, while I get frustrated unless everything is put in its place.”
In using the word, faults, you are judging someone’s actions as right or wrong. Using the word, differences, removes the critical tone, because you are pointing out how you are different, not that one person is right or wrong.
MISTAKES become VALUABLE LESSONS
A negative statement would be, “You made a mistake.” Contrast this with the more positive, “There is a valuable lesson in what you did.” The first way makes others feel ashamed of what they did, and will probably inhibit them from trying new things in the future. The second way gives others something positive to do - to learn from their actions, thereby encouraging learning and experimentation.
The bottom line is that words can either be destructive or enriching to your relationships with other people. So, before you allow the words to simply flow out of your mouth without considering what they mean, remember this one very important word - THINK.
Improve Negative Relationships by Changing a Few of the Words You Use
By Harriet Meyerson
Here are some places where you might run into trouble by inadvertently using negative words: leaving a message on an answering machine, talking with a colleague at work, chatting with a neighbor, meeting with your children’s teachers, and relating with your family and friends.
Here’s how you can eliminate six commonly used negative words and replace them with positive words.
PROBLEMS become SITUATIONS
A negative statement would be, “I have a problem at work.” Contrast this with the more positive, “I have a difficult situation at work.”
A problem seems as though it is stuck to you and will always be there. It weighs heavy on your shoulders. A situation, on the other hand, seems temporary and solvable. It has a much lighter feel to it, and it won’t cause as much anxiety.
ALWAYS and NEVER become OFTEN and SELDOM
A negative statement would be, “You never take me anywhere. We always stay home and watch TV.” Contrast this with the more positive, “ Since we seldom go out in the evenings, and we’re often so tired we just watch TV, I get frustrated. I would love to have a special evening out with you. Can we plan one together?”
Always and never are negative words because they are rarely true and exaggerate a situation. Since they are usually used to criticize, people feel attacked and become defensive. The worst part is that others may focus on your exaggeration and entirely ignore your message. In the second statement, however, you are explaining your own feelings and desires, so there is no need for your partner to get defensive, and you are more likely to get your wish - an enjoyable evening out.
SHOULD HAVE becomes COULD HAVE
A negative statement would be, “You should have worked on that management report instead of filing papers.” Contrast this with the more positive, “You could have worked on that management report instead of filing papers.” Using the words, should have, creates guilt and shame for something that has already been done and cannot be changed, whereas the words, could have, don’t condemn anyone. They let someone know he or she had a choice, and this experience then becomes a lesson for making better choices in the future.
BAD becomes UNWISE
A negative statement would be, “You were really bad for missing work when we had a deadline to meet.” Contrast this with the more positive “Missing work when we had a deadline to meet was not a wise decision. The rest of us had to work overtime. Would you please find a way to make it up to us.”
Using the word, bad, is a judgement of a person’s character, and causes resentment. On the other hand, using the word, unwise, refers to the natural consequences of the person’s actions, and doesn’t judge a person’s basic character.
FAULTS become DIFFERENCES
A negative statement would be, “One of his faults that drives me crazy, is that his desk is always a mess.” Contrast this with the more positive, “One of the differences between us is that he keeps his desk messy, while I get frustrated unless everything is put in its place.”
In using the word, faults, you are judging someone’s actions as right or wrong. Using the word, differences, removes the critical tone, because you are pointing out how you are different, not that one person is right or wrong.
MISTAKES become VALUABLE LESSONS
A negative statement would be, “You made a mistake.” Contrast this with the more positive, “There is a valuable lesson in what you did.” The first way makes others feel ashamed of what they did, and will probably inhibit them from trying new things in the future. The second way gives others something positive to do - to learn from their actions, thereby encouraging learning and experimentation.
The bottom line is that words can either be destructive or enriching to your relationships with other people. So, before you allow the words to simply flow out of your mouth without considering what they mean, remember this one very important word - THINK.
Sunday, February 03, 2008
About a (bitchy) girl.
“Viciousness can only come from those who are not culturally refined.” – Cosmo September 2007
I can’t remember the exact date. But as far as my brain cells can recall, it happened last month. Of course I won’t forget what happened because it heightened my emotions and I freakin’ tried to get involve in other people’s complicated life.
I can’t remember the exact date. But as far as my brain cells can recall, it happened last month. Of course I won’t forget what happened because it heightened my emotions and I freakin’ tried to get involve in other people’s complicated life.
Among my high school friends, I have the longest string of patience. I would always position myself at the middle, to keep everything cool, relaxed and neutral. Sometimes, I would be mistaken for being nonchalant and chickenhearted but the truth is…I am trying to save my conviction that people have their own reasons for acting such way.
However, there would always be people who would try to test your patience. Even if it’s not about you, it hurts so much if one of your closest friend (almost considered as a sister) is being pestered by a vicious mentally-challenged playstation girl. Yes, she’s the bitchy girlfriend of the ex of my close friend. I am not also trying to expose the fairy-tale gone bad love story of my friend. I am posting this because I surely came to a point of realization through this.
When I saw the girl, I am the only one among my friends who said that she’s pretty. But now that she annoyed me by her bitchiness, I would definitely say that her looks already registered on my mind as the brainless slut. I also used to like his boyfriend (not for me but for my friend) because he’s the silent type who would be able to make us laugh with his unexpected punch lines. Now that he has chosen a girl of that kind over my friend, I only felt nothing else but pity. She is not only a bitch, she's also a control freak. (Damn, I'm getting vicious now.)
I can’t seem to comprehend why a current girlfriend would feel so insecure about an ex who is actually not doing anything and simply moving on with her life. The girl subsequently sent text messages of no basis and point of argument. We assumed that she’s bored and just tried to add some spice on her relationship. But her rudeness provoked us to do something because it has to stop.
I have learned two things from the experience: 1st is the quotation found at the beginning of my entry. 2nd is…true friends are definitely blessings because they would stand up, fight for you no matter what happens and help you get through a very depressing situation.
