Little Star's Realm
Monday, February 25, 2008
Confession of a Rejected Artist.
Rejection is a speck, like a bit of unwanted debris, imbedded like a pebble in our psyche, and it stays there niggling away and undermining our self-confidence until we feel strong enough to pull it out. (Jannet Warrick)
I had this first unforgettable memory of rejection when I was in first year high school. It was the very first time I’ve had the guts to join our school publication because they were in need of an illustrator. So I tried with all enthusiasm but unfortunately I wasn’t chosen. After that, I didn’t join any opening for the school publication again…
The second time happened when somebody referred me to make a fashion illustration. They’ve seen my samples and got their attention so they asked me to follow the style they want. Unfortunately again…I never heard from them since then.
Lastly and still fresh from my memory is when I got interested in joining the children’s book illustrators. Despite my busy job schedule, I seriously find some time to make new illustrations just to meet the deadline. Today, I received the rejection letter saying that I didn’t make it to their list. I felt bad because I thought that maybe I am just trying too hard.
But then again, I started thinking the other way around. If I focus on the negative effects on me…I will eventually lose my capacity to appreciate what I had, already have and what I’ll be having on the next years to come. I started looking back at my past that I’m not actually a loser because there were things that I wanted badly but got it because I strived so hard and waited patiently. If I’ve had 3 biggest rejections in my life, I tried considering the 3 significant achievements that boost my confidence:
I really had this ardent desire to study at the oldest university and graduate with the course that I really dreamt of. I tried my best and I actually passed the entrance examination. Make it twice as something worth celebrating because I passed the shifter’s test after a year. I've got good grades. I never had a grade of 3.0 and even became a dean's lister. So I'm still thinking what's wrong with me?
Not long enough after graduation, there were several instances when I went home crying because I know that I screwed up with the manual exams due to lack of experience. Then I went to this publishing house, told myself that I wanted to work there and I was so glad that I was given the chance and be part of the creative group for four years.
Lastly, I’ve had this strong curiosity to try my luck in the media publishing. I wished that I’d be a part of it because there’s something else that I want to prove to myself. I took the examination and after months of waiting, once again, I was given the chance to work with a bunch of new artists and a new challenging job.
I am on my 5th month and was evaluated by my supervisor. I wish I could share his evaluation to this blog but it’s a bit confidential so I’ll just say that I am satisfied with what he said. It was his point of view on how I performed with my work. I am so glad that he was able to notice all my efforts.
I will try to regard what the other people told me… maybe they’re right. I may be rejected a million times but maybe God has other plans for me so I should keep on trying.
I should not lose my confidence…
I had this first unforgettable memory of rejection when I was in first year high school. It was the very first time I’ve had the guts to join our school publication because they were in need of an illustrator. So I tried with all enthusiasm but unfortunately I wasn’t chosen. After that, I didn’t join any opening for the school publication again…
The second time happened when somebody referred me to make a fashion illustration. They’ve seen my samples and got their attention so they asked me to follow the style they want. Unfortunately again…I never heard from them since then.
Lastly and still fresh from my memory is when I got interested in joining the children’s book illustrators. Despite my busy job schedule, I seriously find some time to make new illustrations just to meet the deadline. Today, I received the rejection letter saying that I didn’t make it to their list. I felt bad because I thought that maybe I am just trying too hard.
But then again, I started thinking the other way around. If I focus on the negative effects on me…I will eventually lose my capacity to appreciate what I had, already have and what I’ll be having on the next years to come. I started looking back at my past that I’m not actually a loser because there were things that I wanted badly but got it because I strived so hard and waited patiently. If I’ve had 3 biggest rejections in my life, I tried considering the 3 significant achievements that boost my confidence:
I really had this ardent desire to study at the oldest university and graduate with the course that I really dreamt of. I tried my best and I actually passed the entrance examination. Make it twice as something worth celebrating because I passed the shifter’s test after a year. I've got good grades. I never had a grade of 3.0 and even became a dean's lister. So I'm still thinking what's wrong with me?
Not long enough after graduation, there were several instances when I went home crying because I know that I screwed up with the manual exams due to lack of experience. Then I went to this publishing house, told myself that I wanted to work there and I was so glad that I was given the chance and be part of the creative group for four years.
Lastly, I’ve had this strong curiosity to try my luck in the media publishing. I wished that I’d be a part of it because there’s something else that I want to prove to myself. I took the examination and after months of waiting, once again, I was given the chance to work with a bunch of new artists and a new challenging job.
I am on my 5th month and was evaluated by my supervisor. I wish I could share his evaluation to this blog but it’s a bit confidential so I’ll just say that I am satisfied with what he said. It was his point of view on how I performed with my work. I am so glad that he was able to notice all my efforts.
I will try to regard what the other people told me… maybe they’re right. I may be rejected a million times but maybe God has other plans for me so I should keep on trying.
I should not lose my confidence…
posted by li'l star at 11:31 PM
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