Little Star's Realm

Sunday, November 05, 2006

Settle it ASAP?

Just this morning, I had an argument with my older brother. He actually threw the baby’s bottle and it hit my head. When I was about to throw the same bottle to him as my initial reaction, I held back because I saw my niece’s eyes staring at me. So I just aired my anger and that infuriated my brother even more. While he’s still carrying the baby, his left palm landed on my left cheek. Guys tend to be violent at times. Damn!
That clash actually started because of the computer. He was watching over it so I won’t be able to use. As if he wants me to take care of his baby while he’s enjoying with the computer game. From there, unsettled issues from the past were raised.
I didn’t want to stop myself from talking. That’s all I can do. I don’t want to be violent because I might end up with a broken jaw. (hehe). But honestly, I was just considering the baby.
I am like that most of the time. Even if I’m so enraged. I stop because I’m thinking of the people around me. Those people who would be affected by my anger. Sometimes I try to get rid of pride in my system.
Same thing happened to me before. I had a fight with a close friend.
I don’t know if I regret the time we confronted each other coz that was the time I eventually got to know her. Really got to know her. I don’t know why I couldn’t get over that incident. If it’s because of being torn by the fact that we’ve been through a lot or was it because I wasn’t able to defend myself? The time she said implacable words to me, leaving me scarred, hurting my pride and insulting my character as a person…I refused to argue and remained calm at the moment. I didn’t argue with her because I secretly hoped that everything will be back to normal. But sad to say, even if I wanted to settle issues ASAP, some things are not bound to be fixed.

It was said in the article in our magazine the following consequences if you do not settle issues ASAP.. (by the way, the article is being addressed to grade 3 students)

You may hurt other’s feelings. Most of the disagreements children like you might have concern your likes and dislikes. When you always impose your ideas on your friends and you don’t give them the chance to express what they think, you may hurt their feelings. As a result, they may not like you anymore and you may also be hurt.

The issue may get worse and could be more difficult to handle. An unsettled disagreement may result to another and could get blown up and involve more people. For example, you and your classmate disagreed on how to go about a project. Your groupmates could also be affected.

You may ruin your relationship with the person you have disagreements with. Long–standing disagreements may lead to personal attacks. You might wake up one morning hating the person you had disagreed with.

With the above, you should learn to give way, listen to others’ ideas, settle your differences ASAP.

I agree with that but for some reasons, I realized that it’s not a matter of settling it right away. It’s a matter of time. I don’t know if that person would still consider ignoring her pride or not at all.
At times, I deliberately imagined that I should have yelled at her or released my anger if I only knew that this would happen. I should have insulted her the same way. It’s not my intention to ruin our friendship but she just abandoned it. Just like that.
It saddens me at every thought that there are people who can’t accept your apology even if you’ve asked for it. Or even if you have tried your very best to show them that you’re sincere to whatever you have done. But I am just human. I got fed up and tired.Though i am still hoping that we'd settle the issues at the right time. As the cliché’ saying goes..”time heals all wounds.”
Perhaps it would be suitable for other people. But we really have mere differences. I’ve learned that you should not insist on something. Just let go if you really can’t do anything.
As for the argument I had with my brother, I know we’ll still be okay. We will just be ignoring each other for days. Hehe. Then we’d be back to normal.

posted by li'l star at 6:16 PM 0 comments

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

My World

I no longer want to write on the wall. ;-) I decided to leave littlestar823.blogdrive.com. Now I want to give you a glimpse of my world. Little Star’s Realm.
If you want to know a little background as to why I consider myself a little star…you can just visit my previous blog.
Well, here I am again, trying to fathom life’s complexities. Again, I want to express my thoughts, opinions, dramas, angsts, complaints etc. etc. It’s not that easy to condition myself because the greatest “antagonist” here is my laziness. You know how lots of ideas rampage inside my mind but I often choose not to do anything.Wohoo! Galing! I’m undeniably unproductive the past year. But actually, it’s hard to make the first move when you really don’t know where to begin. And so I looked for an inspiration.
Inspiration of all sorts from blogs, art deviations, magazines, friends...etc. I just have to admit that i'm just having a hard time on organizing my thoughts. :)
So let me start with my so-called "new world", just last year (Sept.18-Nov.10) I experienced alteration in my life. Sort of a trance but it was real. I cried a bucket of tears so dad would give me the permission to go home.. So there, I spent less than two months wondering how my life would be after two years. But two years turned into two months. It was quite a hilarious decision. At some point, I learned a lesson from it. I should never settle on something I am not mentally and emotionally prepared.
On the contrary, if you have read my post before, I wanted to try something new in my life. I wanted to be free as a bird and when it eventually happened, I was caught dumbfounded by the fact that I wasn’t able to withstand the experience. And so I went home and openly accepted the consequences of my actions. But so much ado came my way.
Entering a new world or in simple term, starting a new is very difficult. You’ll never know what is at stake or what changes will take place.
When I went home, I need to prove myself all over again. And proving yourself is also an intricate challenge.
But here,I need not start from the basic. I will just try to be myself. Free to say anything or everything. To convey the words and images that discreetly hound me. This is my realm. This is my world. My new world. In any way, In any form or in any approach…. I can prove my worth as an artist and as a person.
posted by li'l star at 10:35 PM 0 comments