Little Star's Realm
Friday, October 09, 2009
Confession of An Insomiac.
“When friends declare that they need to get a life, I advise them to get more sleep.” - Jessica Zafra (Chicken Pox for the Soul)I used to take sleep for granted.
A few weeks ago…I just have to go bed as early as 8 pm. I’ve counted a hundred sheep. I’ve tumbled back and forth. I've changed my pillow. I’ve lessened my time on watching dvds and tv programs at night. I’ve read books eventhough my eyes hurt due to lack of sleep. I’ve also reduced the time I spend on net surfing. I was frantic, desperate, miserable and getting cranky every time the sun rises. Slumber was so aloof and unkind to me. It was really hard when you don’t know the exact reasons that make you palpitate, unrelaxed and awake from midnight ‘til the break of dawn. I couldn’t even have forty winks. Eyebags getting darker. Teary. Body’s getting so stressed out. Getting weaker and weaker. Headaches became annoyingly unmanageable. I was literally like a walking zombie. It was so depressing.
My attitude has been badly affected. My view towards other people’s actions became tainted. I easily get irritated by simple things. I became distraught. I’ve suddenly had several mood swings which are not normal to me and my optimism about life turned into pessimism. I just kept on complaining almost everyday.
My work attitude also changed. Since I’m not able to have enough rest at night, I lost my enthusiasm. I became less creative. I no longer want to go to work. I was so desperate to have a decent sleep. I was almost about to leave my current job to the extent of handling my resignation paper because of my frequent absences and my fear of being terminated since I don’t have any bad records on my previous jobs. Being a freelancer entered my mind wherein I can handle my time without any restraint. I became more confused and disoriented each day.
I was mercilessly tormented by the vicious cycle of insomia.
I thought it wouldn’t come to an end.
My desperation caused me to gather all the possible cures. I checked my diet. I’ve sacrificed my chocolate and ice cream intake. No starbucks frap. I drank milk before going to bed but I still consider it a disappointment because my bladder keeps on discharging fluids every 30 minutes. It’s just my approximate calculation.
Since I was so hesitant to take any sleeping pills, my last resort was meditation. Part of my meditation was deep breathing before I lay on my bed. My mind should be in rhythm with my body. I went back to praying the rosary while listening to Bandari Orchestra, Rockabye and some of the classical music.
And it all worked.
The vicious cycle I’ve experienced after 4 months was gradually interrupted by a sound sleep.
I just have to maintain my sleep routine. There are still random attacks of insomia until now. But I am hopeful that I could regain my normal life.At least 6 hours of sleep would be enough.
A few weeks ago…I just have to go bed as early as 8 pm. I’ve counted a hundred sheep. I’ve tumbled back and forth. I've changed my pillow. I’ve lessened my time on watching dvds and tv programs at night. I’ve read books eventhough my eyes hurt due to lack of sleep. I’ve also reduced the time I spend on net surfing. I was frantic, desperate, miserable and getting cranky every time the sun rises. Slumber was so aloof and unkind to me. It was really hard when you don’t know the exact reasons that make you palpitate, unrelaxed and awake from midnight ‘til the break of dawn. I couldn’t even have forty winks. Eyebags getting darker. Teary. Body’s getting so stressed out. Getting weaker and weaker. Headaches became annoyingly unmanageable. I was literally like a walking zombie. It was so depressing.
My attitude has been badly affected. My view towards other people’s actions became tainted. I easily get irritated by simple things. I became distraught. I’ve suddenly had several mood swings which are not normal to me and my optimism about life turned into pessimism. I just kept on complaining almost everyday.
My work attitude also changed. Since I’m not able to have enough rest at night, I lost my enthusiasm. I became less creative. I no longer want to go to work. I was so desperate to have a decent sleep. I was almost about to leave my current job to the extent of handling my resignation paper because of my frequent absences and my fear of being terminated since I don’t have any bad records on my previous jobs. Being a freelancer entered my mind wherein I can handle my time without any restraint. I became more confused and disoriented each day.
I was mercilessly tormented by the vicious cycle of insomia.
I thought it wouldn’t come to an end.
My desperation caused me to gather all the possible cures. I checked my diet. I’ve sacrificed my chocolate and ice cream intake. No starbucks frap. I drank milk before going to bed but I still consider it a disappointment because my bladder keeps on discharging fluids every 30 minutes. It’s just my approximate calculation.
Since I was so hesitant to take any sleeping pills, my last resort was meditation. Part of my meditation was deep breathing before I lay on my bed. My mind should be in rhythm with my body. I went back to praying the rosary while listening to Bandari Orchestra, Rockabye and some of the classical music.
And it all worked.
The vicious cycle I’ve experienced after 4 months was gradually interrupted by a sound sleep.
I just have to maintain my sleep routine. There are still random attacks of insomia until now. But I am hopeful that I could regain my normal life.At least 6 hours of sleep would be enough.
