Little Star's Realm

I will tell this to you once. This isn’t something I can’t get over with. Last Saturday, I really wanted to cry. I just don’t want to act childish and throw a tantrum in front of so many people so I acted as if everything’s ok. I am not ok. I am friggin' mad. I thought you’re bothered every time I’m sad and you even said that you’re a friend. You don’t have the slightest idea on what I’m going through right now. I joined the volleyball game so I could have some fun. I also thought that it would be my chance to interact with other employees of our company. I wanted to feel good and divert my thoughts to other things but if joining would only make me feel bad about myself then I’d rather quit than be mocked and embarrassed in front of other people. If I’m screwing up, then just let me screw up. Afterall, it was not something I intend to get serious with but it doesn’t mean that you can humiliate me. Did I give you the right to do that to me? What made you think that it was ok? You still don't know me that well, do you? Didn’t you notice that I don’t join you every time you initiate your teasing and practical jokes? If ever i'm answering back, it's just my way of defending myself. I thought you’ve already noticed that I’m a bit sensitive and pikon. Plus I am not also in good shape because I’ve been inclined to something personal at this very moment. How could you act like a selfish asshole who’s just trying to make pabida? Was it really fun? I’d like you to know that I am not used to being treated brashly by coworkers. I’ve worked with several males in the past and I’ve been treated with apt respect. I’m not used to being laughed at or embarrassed. I’m used to being taken care of by male colleagues but this is the only place I’ve worked where males would often be harsh and insensitive. This is not the first time so I think I should do something about it.

I am not asking you to take care of me (or the other girls) or be nice to me. I can take care of myself. I just want you to spare me from your pranks and mockery. I just need to vent out my ire because I have no choice but to work with assholes like you and I can’t afford to keep it to myself. I am dealing with a lot of things and feeling bad about myself would not do me any good. So for professional sake, just spare me your consideration.

Thanks.

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This is one of the bravest things I could do for myself. I am a bit sensitive at this moment and I don't want to be misunderstood. I cannot take practical jokes that would affect my self esteem because I am feeling so low at this point of my life. When my world seems to be falling apart, all I could do is to ask for other people to bear with me so I can refrain from involving myself into complications. Neither do I want to be engaged in misunderstandings. I sent this email to my colleague last Monday. In fairness to him, he didn't let one day pass and asked for my forgiveness and another chance. He wasn't actually a total asshole. I appreciate his actions as I get back to work when I received chocolates as his peace offering.I didn't know that it would mean that much to him. As of now, he's been treating me nicely. He should really know that i am as fragile as a crystal glass. I could break easily and all I need is a little consideration.