Little Star's Realm
Thursday, November 06, 2008
Top of the World.
Anybody who wants to reach the top of the world is considered ambitious. I am undeniably one of them. It has been a year since I have experienced attaining a much-awaited dream. Believe it or not, it was My ONLY goal. A dream that out of curiosity on how it feels to be on the top made me very eager to strive harder and decide to leave the place that has trained and taught a lot -- my comfort zone. It was the initial place where I have yielded enough experiences and confidence. Being a risk taker, I left my comfort zone once again and took every step just to be there. Eventhough things seemed so unclear. Even if there was no assurance of what’s waiting for me there. It was different from my first decision of leaving my comfort zone. That second time was my sole decision. No one forced me. But everybody seemed to be so excited including myself. I reveled so much that I set all my fears aside. This is actually a dream come true, I said to myself. I know that I would be back to zero when I get there but what the heck, I thought it was my ONLY chance so I should not let that opportunity pass. Though I wasn’t able to last that long because I quit and I decided to try my luck elsewhere. A place where I know I’ve never been. I tried so there wouldn’t be any comparison. I tried because I wanted to learn something new. I have no regret where my ambitions have brought me because I’ve met and encountered different people with various personalities. I’ve learned something new but I’ve changed. I’ve discovered what I really wanted. I’ve even had the chance to know myself more. I realized that when I have reached the top, I have sacrificed my growth and I felt that I was boxed up. I wasn’t able to do what I really want and all the things I do were eating my time I hardly have time for myself. Everything seemed to be carried by a whirlwind. So fast, I couldn’t take hold of anything. I thought that even if the experienced people on top believed in me, I came to a point where everything I've done became meaningless and unnecessary. I wasn’t feeling any fulfillment. I just have to quit. I made an irrevocable decision that despite of the prestige it has given me, I still have to find another settlement. It may have given me prestige, to be there, to be part of the large pool of ambitious people but I just realized that I haven’t found what I’ve been looking for. The more I’ve come closer, the more I’ve seen the flaws and it was just another disillusionment. But I am not regretting any of my decision.
Like my old post, “There is only one true success—to be able to live your life on your own way.” (Christopher Morley). When I moved to another niche, I stepped back a little. It may not be on the top. It may not give me enough prestige or I may not hear the “oooh or wow”. It may not be the “best”, but for now, it doesn’t matter to me. I wasn’t that excited when I transferred. I have neither any expectations but I am happy that I haven’t lost my enthusiasm to learn and the hope that I’ll be able to do what I want. I know I may be testing the waters and despite that it’s a bit slow paced right now, I know that I will be having the time of my life. For a risk taker like me, I am wishing myself…good luck.
Like my old post, “There is only one true success—to be able to live your life on your own way.” (Christopher Morley). When I moved to another niche, I stepped back a little. It may not be on the top. It may not give me enough prestige or I may not hear the “oooh or wow”. It may not be the “best”, but for now, it doesn’t matter to me. I wasn’t that excited when I transferred. I have neither any expectations but I am happy that I haven’t lost my enthusiasm to learn and the hope that I’ll be able to do what I want. I know I may be testing the waters and despite that it’s a bit slow paced right now, I know that I will be having the time of my life. For a risk taker like me, I am wishing myself…good luck.
posted by li'l star at 9:12 PM
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